Wednesday, March 13, 2013

March Blog Challenge Day 13


March Blog Challenge
Day 13: do you have any regret?
March 13, 2013

What a great question. I think as human beings we naturally have regret. As I’ve matured and learned that it is through our experiences, or failures, that we learn. So, should we regret? Our life paths have led us to where we are today, who we are, and will lead us to whom we will become. Even through everything I have been through, the pain and sacrifice, it is a part of me. Should I regret that? Let me put it to you another way; if we have regret, then we regret what God is blessing us with. We might not see it as a blessing, but we don’t know what the regret may teach us for later. At least, that’s my opinion.
That being said, it is only natural to experience the emotions of regret. It is learning to acknowledge those feelings, how to work through them, and dealing with them, that can keep a person mentally healthy.  And believe me when I say, it may seem easy for some people, but everyone is different. If someone tells you to “just get over it”, they have not walked in your shoes, they do not know what you have endured or sacrificed; simply, they don’t know. If you are regretting something that is affecting your quality of life (leading you to negative thoughts or wanting to hurt yourself) please see a professional right away.
Top 5 What I Have Learned From My Regrets
5.) Love – don’t be afraid to love. Guard your heart; just don’t guard it so tight and so closed off that the wall you build becomes permanent. Learn from your past relationships, but don’t project them onto anyone else. God did say that the greatest is love. It is true too, when you put love out there, you’ll receive love back.
4.) Fear – growing up, I had this horrible distortion of myself that crippled my ability to enjoy years of my life. Social pressures and expectations were like a ball and chain clamped around my ankle – and it was all within my own psyche. If you look through magazines and feel upset that you don’t look like the people in them, then stop looking at that magazine. Don’t let people who call you negative names affect you – they have issues of their own. Have pity on them, how sad that they feel the need to hurt someone else, and pray for them.
3.) Medical – never hesitate to get a second opinion, ask questions, or say “no.” Remember, that there is a reason that it is called practicing medicine. If a medical professional is around you and they seem to exhibit signs of being sick themselves (sneezing or coughing) ask them for someone else to assist you (especially if you have any skin openings or wounds of any kind).  They may suggest that they could put a mask on, a medical gown, and sterile gloves. While this could prevent a possible infection, you have to decide your comfort level and possible risks. Don’t let them bully you, you’re their boss (don’t bully them either.)
2.) Beliefs – hold strong and stand firm. I’m not suggesting being closed-minded, at all. I think that it is more knowledgeable to listen to other opinions, research them, and then learn from it (maturing along the way.)  I think morals are coordinated with beliefs, so if you have a strong conviction make sure you have the follow-through. If you are against cheating, don’t cheat, and don’t tolerate cheaters.  Something that disgusts me (in my state) is that adultery is against the law, but not a punishable offense. So, basically the law is saying that the vow we make, and the covenant we enter with God, doesn't mean anything. Why get married then? I have heard some people get married for the monetary benefits and discounts. But, consider this: at minimum a divorce will cost approximately $10 grand! That’s more than some people even spend on their wedding. It shouldn't be about the money, it should be about eternal love.
1.) Parenting – love your children. When I was younger, I had made this joke that people needed to get a licenses for various things, so why not to be a parent. There is so much knowledge and truth to the saying that it takes a village to raise a child. But, you are the parent, act like it. It is important that the parent/child relationships are set. Everyone has their own way of doing things and everyone is unique (especially children). What may work for one child isn’t going to work for all children necessarily. So, just remember that there is NO perfect parent. No one is perfect, do what you can do and if you feel overwhelmed, seek help. It is o.k. to admit that you can’t do it all yourself. Even these “super mom’s” have their boiling points, bad days, and need time for themselves too.
There have been plenty of times in my life that I have looked back and wished that I would have done something differently. I am only human. Maybe this has some precedence over the concept of the time machine – because, I’m sure each of us would take a turn. But, like SciFi warns – if we alter our past, it will alter our present, and our future (and maybe not for the best).
Until next time or the next… dream
K.E.Nowinsky
Goingoffdreams.com